Marriage has always been considered a sacred institution. The idea of two people sharing their lives together forever is something that almost everyone wants at some point in life. Yet, despite its importance, many marriages fail because they don’t take into account the unique challenges faced by couples today.
According to a recent survey, many people are getting divorced or separated within five years of tying the knot. This number is even higher for millennials.
“According to data from the National Center for Health Statistics, national marriage rates decreased from 6.9 to 6.1 marriages per 1,000 people from 2017 to 2019, which is the lowest rate recorded so far.” -Source: medicinenet.com
So why does divorce happen? There are several reasons, but the main ones include poor communication skills, lack of understanding, financial problems, infidelity, and abuse. If you want to ensure that your relationship lasts, then you should consider these seven things before tying the knot.
The Key factors that contribute to a happy marriage include mutual respect, trust, and communication. It’s important for both spouses to feel like they are able to be themselves and share their thoughts and feelings openly with each other.
In order for a marriage to thrive, both partners must be committed to making it work. They must be able to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts in a constructive manner. It is also important to have common interests and values, and to maintain a healthy level of intimacy.
How do you define a successful marriage?
Marriage is often defined as a lifelong commitment between two people. But what does it take to make a marriage work?
A successful marriage requires three key components: honesty, respect, and love. They must have mutual respect, trust, honest communication, and the ability to compromise.
If both spouses can make genuine effort to add these qualities to their relationship, it is likely to be more successful.
Let’s understand the five ways that help couples to stay happily together.
- 1. Mutual Respect: It’s essential to a healthy marriage. If either partner feels disrespected, he or she won’t be open to hearing another person’s opinion. This can lead to arguments and hurt feelings.
- 2. Trust: It’s built over time. You don’t want to rush into marriage without feeling confident that you’re making the best decision for yourself.
- 3. Communication: It’s important to talk about issues and concerns. Talking about them helps to clarify any misunderstandings.
- 4. Compromise: Both parties need to be willing to give up their own ideas and opinions in favour of those of the other.
- 5. Intimacy: It’s an important part of every couple’s relationship. It allows couples to express affection and show appreciation for one another.
If you want to keep your marriage happy and strong, try to incorporate all of these elements into your relationship.
Proper communication is the most important quality in a healthy relationship. So, let me explain it further.
In addition to learning to communicate well, couples must also learn to understand one another. This requires some effort because people think differently.
For example, women generally like to talk about everything while men prefer to keep certain topics to themselves. However, both genders want to hear what the other person has to say.
So, if you don’t feel comfortable talking about something, try asking questions. For instance, “Do you ever worry about money?” might lead to a discussion about finances.
Or, “How do you deal with stress?” could spark a conversation about how to handle pressure.
By getting to know each other, you’ll build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
Also, couples need to remember that having fun together is the key ingredient in a happy marriage.
If you’re always stressed, tired, angry, or depressed, you won’t have much energy left for making love.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. Get enough sleep, eat healthfully, exercise regularly, and relax whenever possible.
Things That Will Ruin Your Successful Marriage
The top three problems in marriages are communication, money, and sex.
- Couples need to be able to communicate with each other effectively to resolve any issues that may arise.
- Money is another big issue, as couples need to be on the same page when it comes to finances.
- Sex is another common issue, as couples need to be able to maintain a healthy and happy sexual relationship.
Primarily, there are five main areas that contribute to strong marriages: health, finances/budgeting, family, friends, faith.
Let’s understand briefly the 9 most common problems in married couples.
9 most common problems in married couples.
1. Lack Of Communication.
Communication is the foundation of any relationship. If you’re not communicating well, then you may find yourself in trouble. You need to communicate clearly about what’s going on in your lives.
When you don’t have good communication skills, you’ll feel frustrated and stressed out.
Talk about what’s going on in your lives. Talk about how you feel. Talk about your problems. Talk about your hopes and dreams. Be honest with each other.
2. Unwanted Sexual Activities.
If you want to keep things fresh in your marriage, avoid unwanted sexual activities. Sex should only happen between two people who love each other. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. If you aren’t comfortable with sex, talk to your partner about it.
Infidelity is cheating on someone else while being married. It happens when a person cheats on their spouse. Infidelity is often caused by lack of trust, jealousy, and lust.
If you suspect infidelity, talk to your partner. Let them know how you feel and if they admit to having cheated, then you both need to work together to fix the problem.
4. Financial Issues.
Financial issues are a big cause of divorce. If you’re struggling financially, you might think that you won’t be able to make ends meet. But you shouldn’t give up hope. There are ways to get back on track. Talk to your partner about your financial situation and ask for help.
5. Alcohol Abuse.
Alcohol abuse is a major issue in many marriages today. People drink alcohol to forget their problems. However, drinking too much can lead to serious consequences. Your partner could end up getting hurt or even dying. If you notice that your partner is abusing alcohol, try to talk to them about it. Ask them if they’ve been diagnosed with alcoholism. If they say yes, then you need to seek professional help.
6. Physical Violence.
Physical violence is never okay. I repeat myself again.
Physical violence is never okay.
If you witness physical violence, call 911 (or the emergency number of your country or your friends/family/neighbours) immediately. Do not confront the abuser directly.
7. Not Spending Enough Time As A Family.
Make sure you’re spending enough time as a family. Have fun together. Play sports together. Go out to eat together. Do something special together. Take vacations together. Get away from work and home responsibilities.
8. Arguing Over Small Issues.
When you argue over small issues, you end up wasting a lot of time and energy. Instead, try to solve the problem instead of fighting over it.
9. Lack Of Commitment.
Lack of commitment is another reason why couples break up. When you commit to someone, you promise to stick around no matter what. If you’re not committed, you may cheat on your partner.
The root cause of all these problems is poor communication skills. It’s one of the main reasons why couples break up. If you’re not clear about what you want, you’ll have trouble communicating effectively with your partner.
What are the Keys to a Successful Marriage?
Marriage is hard work. You have to put effort into making it happy and strong. Here is some of my personal marriage advice on how to build a lasting, loving relationship with your partner.
1. Communicate clearly and often
Relationships are hard work. You have to put in effort to make sure things run smoothly, and communication is one of the most essential parts of any healthy partnership. If you’re looking for tips on how to communicate better with your significant other, here are some simple rules to follow.
- Don’t assume that your partner knows what you mean.
- When you talk to him or her, try to use clear language and avoid slang.
This way, your partner won’t misunderstand you, and you’ll both understand each other better.
- Make eye contact. Even if you’re talking to someone over the phone, look into his or her eyes whenever possible.
This helps build trust, and makes the conversation feel less like a monologue.
- Be honest.
Tell your partner what you think and feel without holding back. If you have something to tell him or her, do it now rather than waiting until later.
- Listen carefully.
Your partner might not always express himself or herself well, so pay attention to everything he or she says.
Try to respond appropriately, and remember that there’s no such thing as a stupid question.
- Be patient.
Relationships take time to develop, and sometimes it takes a while for people to open up to each other. Give your partner space to speak freely and let him or her know that you care.
- Never stop communicating.
Whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, continue to talk to your partner every chance you get.
A little effort goes a long way, and you never know when you might need to hear what he or she had to say.
2. Tell your spouse that you’re thankful for having him or her in your life.
Appreciate your significant other. Show gratitude for everything he or she does for you. Make sure to tell your partner how much you love them. This simple act will make your relationship stronger and help it remain fresh.
3. Avoid arguing. Understand that it’s OK to disagree.
Arguing is a waste of time. Arguments only lead to more arguments, and they don’t accomplish anything constructive.
Instead, try to resolve conflicts before they happen. Talk through your differences and come to an agreement.
If you can’t find common ground, then at least agree to disagree. You should be able to accept that your partner has different opinions from yours.
4. Respect your significant other.
It’s important to respect your partner because this shows that you value their opinion. You shouldn’t treat your partner like a child who needs to be protected.
Instead, show him or her that you appreciate them by treating them with kindness and understanding. Remember that you’re married to your partner, not just another person.
5. Make time for you two as a couple
If there are things you want to do together, make sure you include your partner in your plans. This doesn’t mean you need to spend every weekend together.
You don’t need to go out every single night either. But try to schedule some time when you can hang out without having to worry about work or kids.
You might think you’ll never find the perfect person, but you probably already know someone who fits the bill.
If you’ve been dating for a while now, chances are you’ve found someone who makes you feel like no one else does. So why wait? Why not start making plans for a future together?
6. Build trust
In order to build trust, you have to learn how to communicate effectively. In fact, couples who know how to listen to each other and respond appropriately are much more likely to stay together & develop a happy relationship.
When you’re having trouble communicating with your partner, try asking yourself three questions:
- What am I feeling?
- How do I want my partner to feel?
- And what does he/she want me to understand?
If you don’t know what to say, ask yourself why you’re upset. Then think about whether there might be another reason for your anger besides the issue at hand.
Next, take some deep breaths and try to calm down. This will help you focus on what’s really happening rather than getting caught up in emotions.
Finally, consider your options. You could choose to go ahead and speak your mind, even though you’re angry. Or you could wait to see if things change. Either option may work better depending on the situation.
A recent study found that people who are able to let go of anger and resentment tend to live longer and healthier lives.
7. Learn to forgive.
Forgiveness is a key component to having a successful marriage. It’s important to learn how to forgive, not just for your spouse, but for yourself as well.
Harbouring resentment and bitterness will only cause animosity and will result in an unhappy marriage.
It may be difficult to forgive at first, but with time and patience, it can be done. Start by acknowledging that you are angry or hurt and identify what it is that you need to forgive your spouse for.
Once you’ve identified the issue, start forgiving them little by little. It won’t happen overnight, but if you keep working at it, eventually you’ll be able to move on from the hurt and resentment.
Forgiveness is not about condoning what your spouse did; it’s about freeing yourself from the negative emotions that are holding you back.
8. Respect each other (in private and in public).
A healthy relationship requires respect for one another. If you want to build a strong relationship, then you must treat your partner well.
This includes respecting his/her opinions, feelings, and desires. Also, be honest about what you think and feel, and don’t lie to your partner.
Respecting someone means that you hold them in high esteem and think highly of them. It means that you value their opinion and their feelings.
9. Encourage each other.
A healthy relationship requires communication, understanding, compromise, and love. When couples communicate well, they understand what makes them different from others, and how they can work together to achieve goals.
They also know when to give space for one another, and when to be assertive about their needs. Couples who encourage each other to grow emotionally and spiritually are able to build stronger relationships.
What makes for a happy marriage?
The secret to a successful partnership lies in how well you know yourself and your partner. In fact, it turns out that couples who are able to communicate openly about their needs and desires are much happier together than those who don’t.
Couples who had been married for over 10 years shared similar values, goals and expectations for their relationship. Couples who were compatible in terms of personality traits tended to enjoy a long-lasting relationship.
Key to a healthy marriage is communication.
I have said this statement many times in this article as I want you to understand and remember it.
Couples who are able and willing to talk honestly about their feelings and concerns tend to avoid conflicts and disagreements. They also tend to feel closer to one another.
A common misconception among couples is that they should never discuss their differences because they want to maintain harmony. However, discussing issues and resolving problems is a good way to make sure that both parties are satisfied with the outcome.
If you’re having trouble communicating with your spouse, consider taking some time to sit down and write down your thoughts. You might discover that you haven’t been expressing yourself clearly enough.
When you do speak up, remember to keep things positive. Try to focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives. This helps prevent arguments from escalating into fights.
5 Tips To Keep Your Relationship Healthy.
1. Take time for yourself.
The most important thing you can do for your relationship is take care of yourself. You deserve to spend quality time with friends and family, go on dates, and just enjoy being single.
If you don’t take time for yourself, you won’t be able to give anything to your partner.
2. Talk about your feelings.
If you feel like talking about your emotions is difficult, try writing down your thoughts. You might find that expressing your feelings helps you understand them better.
3. Share your dreams.
Share your hopes and dreams with your spouse. This could include goals such as buying a home together, starting a family, travelling, having children, etc.
4. Be honest.
Be open and honest with each other. Tell your partner if something upsets you or if you have a problem.
5. Stay connected.
Don’t let your relationship fall apart simply because you haven’t seen each other in a while. Try to stay connected through phone calls, texts, emails, etc.
The definition of a successful marriage is different for everyone. For some, it might mean never arguing, while others may consider a healthy sex life to be key. However, one thing that is universally true is that marriage takes work.
It doesn’t just happen naturally; you have to put in the effort to make it work. And sometimes, it takes years before you find out what works best for you both.
Don’t expect perfection right away. Instead, make a commitment to work towards building a happy, loving home together.
The best way to approach this is by taking things one step at a time. Identify what’s wrong and then come up with a plan on how to fix it.
This process can take years, but it’s worth it in the end. When you finally find what works best for you both, your marriage will be stronger than ever.
Remember that you have to put in the effort to create a great marriage. If you’re willing to commit to this, you’ll reap the rewards later on.