To stop being losers we must understand the true meaning of loser. The dictionary defines a loser as “a person who fails frequently or is generally unsuccessful in life”.
But it doesn’t say it’s permanent, or something which we are born with and cannot be changed. Remember, You are a winner, not a loser. Your attitude towards life and situation makes you feel like a loser.
Just read this entire article once and then apply the tips and guidance to stop being loser and living a happy prosperous life.
I believe being a loser is a choice we make of not improving our self. A limitation we put on our self by hiding behind procrastination.
In this blog, let’s analyze the standard statements used by a loser. Only then we can unlock a loser’s brain and stop being a loser. Because it’s only when we understand a thing that we can truly change it.
What is the meaning of LOSER?
As per Gary Busey: “Winners do what losers don’t want to do”. Thus, the only way we become a loser is by not doing/trying.
H. G. Wells once said: “The path of the least resistance is the path of the loser”.
The only difference between a winner and a loser is that one second when the winner decided not to give up. To succeed we must remove our self-imposed limitations.
Everyone has a part in them that suspects them being a loser, but there is also another part that believes they are Awesome.
The question is how we balance between the two?
I will not end this blog by simply highlighting the problems, I will suggest ways by which we can stop being a loser.
Keep reading to know about it and stop procrastinating
Or just watch this awesome video I found for you To Overcome Procrastination.
How can “The Now Habit” help us stop being a Loser?
The only solution to stop being a loser is to develop “The Now Habit” which is basically to learn how to overcome laziness and stop procrastination.
Mel Robbins has given a simple strategy of doing that: “Start before you’re ready. Don’t prepare, begin”.
Because the act of pushing yourself to take simple micro-actions creates a chain reaction in our confidence and thus increases productivity by providing that sense of worth.
“Inspiration is a guest that does not willingly visit the lazy.” ― Tchaikovsky
Is Motivation Needed in Life?
Yes, some sort of motivation is necessary to have a successful life. But I firmly believe that Routine is better than Motivation.
Let me explain
When you start doing things, they become part of life, a routine. Eventually, this routine becomes a habit as simple as brushing teeth without thinking.
This habit will put the mental state at peak performance mode and you will never urge for motivation again.
STOP BEING LOSER, NOW!
What are the 9 Basic problems of a loser? (Loser Mindset)
- #Problem 9: I WILL START FROM TOMORROW or ANY SPECIFIC DATE
Analyze: This falls under the category of procrastination. It’s the most common excuse for a loser. Such people tend to defer a task for some imaginary date.
They commit verbally but do not follow up with them with actions. There are no Sunday or Mondays, these are just days.
It depends on how we use the days that put a value on them. Procrastinating will only delay the inevitable with no added advantage to the task at hand.
Solution: Just start work.
Don’t wait for motivation or resources. It’s the action of work that drives us, which gives us the required flow to move on.
You can use the 90/20 Rule to start with. It’s simple, do 90-minutes of work before taking a 20-minute break.
This will create a “FLOW STATE”, resting your brain just enough so it’s fresh for the next 90 minutes. If required you can change the ratio as per your requirement to beat procrastination.
“I was the problem and in five seconds, I could push myself and become the solution.” ― Mel Robbins
- #Problem 8: IT IS NOT MY FAULT. I SHOULD NOT BE BLAMED
Analyze: It’s no one’s fault. There is nothing called right or wrong. These are just words made up by society to judge people based on their own experiences.
But saying that we must also be responsible enough to take full responsibility for our actions.
Whether those actions bring about the results we wanted or not is a secondary matter, but we should be aware of it.
The moment we think that our destiny is predetermined, we become a miserable loser. We should trust our power and abilities to shape our destiny.
But a loser never takes responsibility for their action and that’s what makes them a loser.
Solution: There’s no smoke without fire. If something is not working the way we want in our lives, then we must take full responsibility for it.
Maybe it’s not our fault, but using this statement assumes that we are laying the blame on someone/something else.
But we must understand that nobody wins the blame game.
Instead of that, we should focus on solving the problem by analyzing the situation, by talking with people we trust or a psychologist and ask for help.
There are many online forums and groups where we can seek help. But having a face to face conversation is better.
Taking full responsibility for our life doesn’t mean that we blame ourselves for all the negative events that happened to us.
We should develop the ability to bring ourselves out of that state and focus on positivity instead. We should be aware of our choices because every choice we make affects our lives in some way.
“We often miss opportunity because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work” ― Thomas A. Edison
- #Problem 7: I CANNOT DO IT. I AM NOT READY. I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Analysis: If we don’t believe in ourselves self then how can we expect someone else to believe in us?
The first step in achieving anything in life is to have trust in your own decision and action. The world will ultimately start believing us.
The world’s greatest failure is still better than someone who did not even start. So we should trust our instincts and start doing the work at hand.
Solution: George Augustus Moore has rightly said: “A winner is just a loser who tried one more time”. What it takes to achieve our goals is not one big scary leaps or actions once a year but those small, irritating, mundane actions every single day.
Always remember David D. Burns’s words:
“Perfection is man’s ultimate illusion. It simply doesn’t exist in the universe… If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do”.
Strive for accuracy, not precision.
“pushing yourself to take simple actions creates a chain reaction in your confidence and your productivity.” ― Mel Robbins
- #Problem 6: IT IS NOT FAIR
Analysis: Nothing in life is fair. Something fair for you may seem unfair to someone else. Satisfying everyone is impossible.
What should we do? Stop trying and sit ideal?
Solution: No, a big NO.
We must try, try as long as it takes. Try as many times as you have to start. But each time analyze your previous steps and correct your course of action.
If you do that same thing again and again, you will get the same result, again and again. The only way to get a different result is to try something new.
And trust me, Time will favor you. “The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart”
“Life is gritty and hard and then suddenly it is brilliant and amazing.” ― Mel Robbins
- #Problem 5: I DO NOT HAVE TIME
Analysis: This is the greatest lie that one tells themselves. We all have 24 hours.
But a loser believes that time is short for them in comparison to the task at hand. This is primarily because of their lack of proper prioritization.
They want to work on everything and hence they achieve nothing.
Solution: If somewhere someone can achieve marvelous feet within that time, then so can we. All it takes is having the attitude of self-improvement. Not comparing with others but with ourselves.
Losers make promises they often break by citing lack of time but a winner will always keep the commitments, and so they generate trust.
Losers live in the past while the Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present to brighten their future. Time waits for no one and time once lost is never found again.
So, prioritizing time is essential.
“The 5-Second Rule The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.” ― Mel Robbins
- #Problem 4: I AM OFFENDED BY YOUR CRITICISM
Analyze: Offended! Let me tell you a secret. You cannot be offended if you don’t take offense. Let me repeat, you cannot be offended if you don’t take offense.
Feeling offended is a response to an action. But our loser brain does not understand it. It hurts its ego and thus they resist the criticism.
A loser avoids criticism by either saying nothing or doing nothing but what they don’t understand is that by doing so they “become nothing”.
Solution: The actions are not always within our control but the responses are.
If we have genuinely made any mistakes, then we should accept the criticism and learn from the event. If not, then we must politely state the facts to the person concerned.
Even if the person doesn’t accept it then you should move on from there. There is no point in wasting your time on such persons.
“Passion is not a thing, it’s a state of mind.” ― Mel Robbins
- #Problem 3: HE/SHE GOT LUCKY. WHY I AM UNLUCKY
Analysis: A Loser mind believes if they win, then it’s their hard work. But if they lose, then it’s their bad luck.
They fail to realize the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. Strong men believe in cause and effect”.
They don’t understand that there’s no point in looking back and saying I was unlucky. They should analyze the event and learn from it.
Solution: I believe the amount of luck that comes on our way depends on our willingness to act, to work hard.
Luck is just the result of finding the right opportunity at the right time.
“Being deeply learned and skilled, being well-trained and using well-spoken words: this is good luck”.
We should replace “why this is happening to me?” To “What is it trying to teach me?”
That’s the real game-changer ideology.
“Your feelings don’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you DO.” ― Mel Robbins
- #Problem 2: I AM TOO TIRED TO DO IT.
Analysis: Unless a person is physically suffering from some ailments (for which they need to consult a doctor), It’s not true.
But a loser mind believes it and hence it’s true for them.
Solution: They need to introspect the reason that causing energy drainage.
Maybe the thing they are supposed to do is not what they wanted to do.
Because if you don’t get tired to watch a movie, or gossip, or play games, etc. then why should you get tired to do the most important work that will help you achieve your Goal.
Do something that energizes you. Don’t wait for passion or motivation, just focus on action.
Mel Robbins has rightly said:
“The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will stop you. 5 4 3 2 1 Go!”.
Still, if you are feeling tired then focus on:
- A balanced diet by prioritizing iron-rich foods;
- have a regular exercise (especially cardio exercise);
- drink lots of water;
- cut down on caffeine, alcohol, and smoking;
- get enough sleep and learn to relax by reducing stress.
Even if you feel tired, do visit a doctor and seek help.
Before we move to the last mindset of being a loser, let me quickly differentiate types of motivation. There are
- #Problem 1: EASY FOR YOU TO SAY
Analysis: Losers fix the blame while winners fix what caused the problem.
One who doesn’t recognize an opportunity is a bigger loser than one who tries his hand at an opportunity.
Nothing is easy in life. Overnight success is a result of days and years of labor on skill sets that’s a loser doesn’t want to start.
Solution: Stop comparing and focus on yourself only.
What are the Six Golden Rules to Win in Life?
The Six Golden Rules to Win in Life are:
- Have a vision for yourself
- Compare yourself to the old version of you
- Go outside the comfort zone and do what has not been done
- Reading books and gathering the author’s experience.
- Forgive people and stay positive
- Never quit. Trust yourself.
Thus, to get rid of being a loser we have to understand our mindset and improve our habits.
But most importantly we have to get rid of the following from our lives: EGO, ENVY, ANGER, IGNORANCE, and FEAR
- Ego prevents you from learning from others.
- Envy prevents you from focusing on yourself.
- Anger prevents you from seeing clearly.
- Ignorance prevents you from making good decisions.
- Fear prevents you from seizing opportunities.
What are the 3 Types of Motivation?
- #1. Survival Motivation: The oldest motivation where our survival is at stake.
When the life of a person is in danger the person is driven to do any herculean task at hand without doubting one ability.
- #2. Carrot Sticks Motivation: When a definite prize is attached to the work, something which almost everyone uses.
By as per research doing mechanical work for cash/prize reward was good.
But when it’s regarding creativity-related work, even with high bonuses the results were bad. The main reason was pointed to stress.
These 2 papers clearly explain this fact.
and the third and most enjoyable motivation is:
- #3. Intrinsic motivation: The work is done because its driven by internal rewards, something that is naturally satisfying to us.
Remember the Tom Sawyer “fence scene”, where
Tom Sawyer was given a task by his Aunt Polly to whitewash their fence as a punishment for his prior mischief.
But Tom Sawyer, being young, wished he could play instead of when one of his friends (Ben Rogers) saw him doing this job and made fun of him. What did Tom Sawyer do?
All he said was that he was doing it for fun and That changed the entire scene.
His friends started to bargain with their things to let them be allowed to do the work.
That’s the point.
People pay for doing what’s fun and for that they don’t need external motivation.
Always remember this statement:
” Grapes must be crushed to make wine. Diamonds form under pressure. Olives are pressed to release oil. Seeds grow in darkness under the soil.”
So, whenever you feel crushed, or under pressure, or pressed, or in darkness, you are undergoing a transformation to become the best version of you.
You must always trust the process.
“You can change your ‘default mental settings and your habits one five-second decision at a time. Those small decisions add up to major changes in who you are, what you feel, and how you live.” — Mel Robbins
EVERYBODY IS AN ADDICT.
Some people are addicted to junk food, watching TV, sleeping in, social network platforms, and other bad habits in general which give them temporary happiness but never fulfill them internally.
While others are Addicted to constant learning, exercise, pushing themselves, creating, planning, and achieving greater heights of achievement and productivity which lead to fulfillment.
Just Go and find your addiction
Try setting Goals. By Goal Setting, you can increase your concentration at work along with motivation. Goal Setting helps to form an Action Plan. This will train the brain to focus only on things that are important and necessary in your life.
How can you become lucky?
They are certain ways by following which Anyone Can Become Lucky:
- By staying on one task until it gets completed.
- By working until one masters what they are doing.
- By giving self-time to improve.
- By reading and immerse oneself into one thing at a time.
- By showing up every day at work & be ready to crush at barriers.
- By quitting the habit of getting distracted by other things not important for personal growth.
- By being ready to go all in and giving their 100% effort and concentration
This article starts with the dictionary definition of the word “loser” and further extends into saying that “being a loser” is the habit of being complacent. Losers are satisfied with themselves and not wanting to improve.
Here the concept of “procrastination” and “the now habit” was briefly explained with appropriate quotes.
The article tried to analyze the 9 biggest problems with the mindset of a loser and put forward an easy helpful & actionable solution to “stop being a loser”.
The one-word root cause of “being a loser” is “procrastination” & a single solution is “Just Start “. To understand more read the above points thoroughly. Shift your mindset from being lazy to being proactive and see the magic happen in your life.
For any question or suggestion; Feel free to share your experience in the comment section below.
Pro Tips on How To Stop Being Loser:
- Watch Ted and TEDx talk on YouTube. You will learn tons of valuable insight about life.
- Listen to a motivational podcast while doing mundane tasks like brushing teeth or cleaning dishes.
- Make a better decision about where to put your time and focus. Remember you cannot do everything at the same time. It’s always one thing at a time and 20% of work is important to bring 80% of the result.
- Use Social Media judiciously Set a fixed amount of time per day or per week basis and only login then. Other times, just log out and turn off all notifications.
- Prepare your short term and long term goals together. Make them as realistic as possible.
FAQ on Stop Being Loser
What does being a loser mean?
The dictionary defines a loser as “a person who fails frequently or is generally unsuccessful in life” But I will define loser as our inability to improve ourselves by putting self-limitation.
How do you know you’re a loser?
If for the last 3 months you have not grown as an individual in any area of your life, whether it’s physical, financial, emotional, or skill-wise; then you are a loser.
What to do if you’re a failure?
First, understand why you are feeling is a failure. Self introspect your situation, then list out all the problems and then start working on them; one at a time. There is no shortage of information for self-development. Just start applying them.
How do you stop thinking you’re a failure?
Actions are the only way to stop things about failure and start working on them. Mel Robbins has rightly said: “The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will stop you. 5 4 3 2 1 Go!”.
How do I become a loser?
By doing “nothing”. By doing nothing, you remain nothing and that’s how losers are made.